Lost in Faith

Jonah2:10 Then God spoke to the fish, and it vomited up Jonah on the seashore.

This prayer is pretty deep anguish from a man who came as close to death as anyone could. But it is funny that the chapter ends so emotionless, “Then God spoke.” It feels like all the drama was on Jonah’s end and none of it on God’s. For his part, God knew that Jonah was never in danger but Jonah was convinced that he was at death’s door.

I wonder if it is possible in this world to have our emotions effected by our theology, I mean really effected. Is it possible to face what Jonah faced with a sense of trust that God is in the midst of it and be comfortable with the outcome.

I’ve had friends die of cancer at an early age they seem to be able to find God in their hopelessness. But I have a lingering addiction to comfort. One moment I think I might like to transition into the next life but the next moment I want to make sure that that transition is quick and painless. But that is really escapism and yet another addiction to comfort because everywhere I turn there is pressure, expectation, responsibility and more pressure. Can I find God in the midst of that rather than wondering what it would be like to see it all end.

When I read Knowing God by J I Packer my senior year in college I gained an understanding of God’s character that has shaped me in the deepest ways. In fact I am more at home with the last sentence in this passage than I am with Jonah’s prayer. Yet I find myself in situation not near as dire as Jonah’s and I cry out or maybe even get angry because I believe God could speak and stop it all. Father from this perspective I know that in those moments I think I am wiser and more knowledgeable than you yet I believe that you could speak and make it all go away. What’s up with that?

Father, give me the courage to confront in myself in real time the crazyness that is me. I need a mirror to see just how ridiculous I look in those moments. Help me Father break this heart of stone.