Lost in Faith

An Experience in Touch

I had no idea what to expect in South Africa except to not have any expectations of accomplishing our grand plans of HIV/AIDS education, spiritual formation, children’s activities and agricultural education. Sean Colin asked us at one of our pre-trip meetings to lower any expectations we had that were causing us to stress out and that most of the people in Bhukwini have not used a phone in their lives.

At that point I felt the Holy Spirit saying, “Well, Jason, looks like your normal mode of finding a task to do and accomplishing it is out the window. Now what?” And in that moment of helplessness, I decided to do what God has called me to do….love Him and love others. That would be my focus in South Africa is to be intentionally bold with humble curiosity with all I come into contact.

Before we went to the village of Bhukwini we gathered and prayed together as a team and we were told that a lot of these people we were going to meet may have never been touched or hugged in an appropriate way ever and that one appropriate, loving touch from us would communicate volumes of trust and affection.

So, we arrive at the village. I am greeted with some smiles and some skeptical, piercing looks but in either case I shook hands in the appropriate Xhosa handshake and found myself unhindered by my internal fear of physical touch grabbing men, women and children, old and young and hugging one right after the other. Something exploded inside of me in this process. Here I am coming there to provide a touch to give them hope, trust and safety and something miraculous happened, I was being touched deeply on the inside by them and their touch. It opened my heart more than ever and I hugged more people the next 3 days than I have my entire life.

I got a chance to reflect on Thursday the day after we visited the village for 4 days. As I sat looking out at the Indian Ocean I had one of those moments. You know, one of those Ah-hah heart crushing moments! I realized that I had hugged the people of Bhukwini, strangers, more than I hug my wife and children! My heart broke, and the tears began to flow. How can this be? The person I am closest to intimately and the ones that I am raising up in the ways of our Father have not received the gift that had given those in Bhukwini over the last 4 days.

When we arrived in the airport in Kansas City there stood my wife and children and the embrace that my wife and I had was the most incredible embrace I have ever had to date with my wife. I couldn’t let go and what God had revealed to me in South Africa is now taking root in my life in action and I can’t stop hugging my wife and children. As a matter of fact I said to my wife, “I can’t stop hugging you and the kids, I have hugged you more since I have been back than our entire marriage.” You know what she said?
I know and I love it!