Lost in Faith

While in grad school no one told me the realities of ministry. Take today for instance. I just came from a staff members office where a friend just decided to cross the line of faith, tears of joy flowed, hugs of happiness and shrieks of excitement.

I am headed to the hospital where a 62 year old man sits in ICU with a breathing tube keeping him alive. Yesterday, I had the “privilege” of talking with him about ending his life. His lungs are shot and the medical community gives him no chance of survival apart from the tube.

His daughter just called and he wants to try life without the tube. His choice, certain death unless God intevenes. He wants me there! Tears will flow, hugs will be given, and shrieks undoubtedly will go out but joy will be absent!

I am not sure how I handle these emotions. I have to teach this evening and I am not ready nor will I be now that I am heading toward a death vigil. But that doesn’t seem to matter.

I wonder what I would have thought as a young budding theologians if some sage would have describe the ascent and descent of emotions in my chosen profession. Would I have been all the more eager to get on with it our glanced from other catagories to give my life to. A moot point because I’m here and they are here and life is smashing us in the face!