Lost in Faith

I am not sure that I have much to say but for my own sake I’ve decided to collect my thoughts and allow them to be seen. Some think it a bold tactic but I view it more as a survival feature in my life.

There is something in me that screams to be known and yet speaking doesn’t seem to get that deep longing met, so I write in hopes of being known, not to the world but to myself.

Sir Francis Bacon said, “Reading makes a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. ” Ever since I read that at the Library of Congress I have been convince that my aversion to writing is one of my worst enemies. It is here that I converse with myself and find that my greatest clarity comes. Clarity found in seeing myself not inside but outside in my words. The thinking process is so subjective and subject to self organizing chaos that comes from the subjective swirl of thinking upon thinking.

But writing seems to be void of the swirl. Like the proverbial calms at the center of the storm. Funny! Tragic! That calm at the center of the storm is surrounding by a deadly force that destroys anything in its way.

Maybe this is the way I find another path to that new heart that God says I have. I am more accustom to knowing the heart that Jeremiah 17:9 speaks of, deceitful and self deluding. I have hope that there is a new heart but that hope resides in my mind and only fleetingly touchs my whole being. How I long for that damn to break and the new heart to flow into my whole life.