“The Marks of the 21st Century Messenger” – Mueller
June 29, 2009
If you buy into the fact that you, the adult, have the primary responsibility in reaching out to teens that you have the responsibility to step into their world, then it stands to reason that there are characteristics that should match that conviction. If you desire to see the teens in your life become connected in a life-giving relationship with Jesus, and if you desire it so much that you’re willing to look at they way you try to help them connect with Jesus, then you’ll be pleased to find that you don’t have to fly blindly into those relationships with teens.
There are, in fact, actually some runway lights for your approach landing into Teen Nation. Walt Mueller explains in what he calls Core Characteristics for Effective Ministry to the Emerging Generations. And parents, btw, you are the primary ministers of God’s Love and God’s Truth and His Good News. So if you’re looking for some advice on what could help you relate to your teen, here you go, the pick of the litter:
1. “Approach youth ministry as a crosscultural missions venture.” I’d go so far as to even say “approach every relationship (at least initially) with youth as a crosscultural missionary adventure.” To me, that looks like approaching each relationship with teens (whether new or well-established) with care and concern and going the extra mile when trying to understand what’s even happening in the interaction. Using patience and a lot of listening instead of reacting to what are really just miscommunications.
2. “Be in but not of the world.” Know what your student or teen is into. Example: In 7th grade I bought a cassette of Snoop Doggy Dogg’s. It was overly mature and explicit, and when my mom found it, she took it away. If we don’t make it a priority to actually know what our teens are listening to or watching, we’re basically pleading ignorance about know what is influencing our teens. What they listen to and what they watch IS influencing who they are becoming. Here’s a litmus test for this: can you listen to a song or watch a movie with your teen and not blush? Know what they’re into, don’t leave it at, “Well, as long as I don’t have to hear it or comment about it.”
3. “Answer all the groans.” Inside the hearts of teens exists a constant “groaning.” The groaning comes from the pain that they can’t ignore, and from the malformed strategies they’ve created to try and gain control over the pain that exists in their lives. You want to bring love, healing, and redemption into the life of a teen? You gotta know them well enough to know where what is making them groan.
4. “Understand your own cultural bias.” We are all biased against the lifestyle of teens, at either minor or major levels. The things they say/do/listen to can mildly annoy us to extremely aggitate us. Listening to the brand of rock known as “screamo” (lots to be said for that name) does not generally produce feelings of empathy for our teens who choose to listen to it. But if we can get passed our bias and our opinion that it is just a bunch of screaming crappy music, we’ll learn about the depth of the lyrics underneath and what they mean to our teens. I think generally we are a lot more biased to their cultural values then they are to ours.
5. “Be intent on building relationships.” Continuing with Mueller’s thoughts: What sets them (emerging generations) apart from prior generations is the deep level of brokenness they’ve experienced in their most basic relationship, the family. This leaves them intensely hungry for and open to relationships with others. A teen’ highest priority is maintaining and increasing the quality of their relationships. Relationships are the doorways into their lives and what they will protect at all costs.
6. “Love without conditions or limits.” It is crucial that when we reach out to youth, we do so with love in our hands. Yes, boundaries and limits are necessary. Yes, discipline is the natural consequence of them breaking those boundaries, and YES, they’ll still get mad at you for it! Even when we’re made, when we’re irritated, when they’ve blown past that boundary for the 1000th time, and we have every right to harden our hearts to them (so ultimately we feel less pain), we still have to put our love into the equation. We still have to seek to make love the reason of why we’re choosing to continue to relate to them.
7. “Provide a place and a community.” Let’s look at this from the parental view. Does your teen, or the teens you know, feel safe as they live in community with you? I’m not just talking about the physical relationship of them living in your home. But emotionally, on a scale of 1-10, how safe to you feel your teen feels about the relationship you have with them? I hope it’s up there. I also hope that even though we’re all shooting for that number to be higher vs. lower, we’ll understand that there will always be times when our teens don’t feel safe with us. No teen will feel safe with us 100% of the time. That’s the reality of their world, and that should provoke feelings of empathy for them. How scary their world truly is if only we could see it through their eyes, and even if they are unwilling to admit it.
So, there’s more in the book (Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture), but those are the top picks. Which one resontates with you the most? Take some time to pray over this list and ask God which one he may be calling you to put into practice with the teens in your life.
Mission Adelante and Elevate – Cool Stuff!
June 26, 2009
"Rosa light, verde light" (in Spanglish)
Last week, 31 6th-12th grade students and 7 adults (and 11 amazing interns!) hosted a childrens camp for Mission Adelante in KC, KS. For Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night, our SC group traveled to about 18th and Central and and tried our best to connect cross-culturally to the Hispanic population Mission Adelante serves. We played games with the children, learned about their lives, and did some good old song and dance stuff. I still have “Big, Big House” in my head!
Here are more pictures (thanks Doug!)
Here is what Karli Pable had to say:
Did You make any new friends?
“…. yes i made many new friends, mariah, jorge, bryan (i think that’s his name), bryan’s older brother, daniella, and more i cant name them all.”
What surprised you the most?
“…..the living conditions, the little kids walking the streets unsupervised, gangs, kids AND parents that have never even heard of God.”
What touched your heart?
“…. the way the kids opened up to you so easily, when we left the kids didn’t want us to go, kids telling me their stories of when they lived in Mexico, strange questions that you wouldn’t think someone would ever ask.. (like,”do you have a mom?”)”
Do you want to go back and continue helping out? Why?
“YESS!! Because the whole experience really opened my eyes and brought me joy of knowing i’m really helping these kids 
”
The Next Step: Our Elevate students will be selling concessions and hosting a car wash next Friday July 3rd at the SC Campus in conjunction with the Fireworks tent. All the money we raise we want to give to Mission Adelante for the specific needs they have. For example, they are already trying to get enough school supplies for the children going to school in the fall.
They need enough supplies for 60 students, so would your family consider sponsoring a backpack? $25 buys all the supplies for one backpack. Next Friday we’d like to collect the supplies (list below) or the $25 equivalent at our concessions area. I will be sending the list of supplies home with all my students’ families this Sunday, and hoping that we can surprise Mission Adelante with an awesome gift!
PLEASE Copy/Paste/Forward/Link this post to anyone you think would care to hear it!
EACH BACKPACK NEEDS (which I bought
yesterday and costs about $25)
500 sheets wide lined notebook paper
5 wide lined spiral notebooks
4 glue sticks (keep in package)
1 – 8 oz. bottle Elmer’s glue (no blue glue)
1 small zippered bag for pencils
1 pkg. erasable pens (blue or black)
5 pocket folders
1 box colored pencils
1 ruler
2 “Sharpie Markers”
2 pkgs. 3 x 5 index cards
1 red felt tip pen
1 pkg. #2 pencils
2 boxes crayons (24)
1 pair small scissors
the Buzz – Elevate Info
June 22, 2009
Here’s what you need to now:
1. Help Unload Fireworks this Wednesday at 5:00 – In the back of the Shoal Creek parking lot, under the big fireworks tent, you pretty much can’t miss it. We need all the help that we can get to unload for our annual fireworks tent fundraiser.
2. Mission Adelante Fundraiser and Student Ministry Night Friday July 3rd – 5:30-9:00pm – We’re having a pretty big night for Elevate on this night. This night will consist of 3-4 components. We need one group of students to sell concessions at the fireworks tent. Money from that will go to Mission Adelante. We need another group of students to put on a carwash at the front of the building. Money from that will also go to Mission Adelante. Erin Talley may try to take a group of girls who want to add some colorful touches to the Willy Wonka Hallway. And then we want to all come together around 8:00 for the rescheduled Plunge worship night. Pickup will be 9pm.
So, I’ve decided the best way to go at this is to have students signup for shifts on the different teams. I need some parent volunteers to be with us on this to do general supervision as well. If your family or just your student wants to be involved with this night, you/your student need to sign up for a specific TEAM and a SHIFT. I’m ok with students working two shifts at the same station and/or working two shifts and switching stations.
Step 1 – Pick a Team: Concessions, Carwash, or if your a girl–Decorate Wonka Hall
Step 2 – Pick which Shift you want to serve for the team you have picked: 5:30-6:45 or 6:45-8:00
Step 3 – Send an email to justin.talley@shoalcreek.org so that we get even #’s of students/volunteers on each team for each shift.
I will also have signup sheets for the students on Sunday, so if you want first dibs, let me know this week!
the Buzz – Elevate Info
June 13, 2009
Here’s what you need to know:
1. Next Sunday, the 21st, is time for Plunge–our monthly student worship service. It runs from 6-7pm in the Shoal Creek Attic. Have your students go down to the Underground when they arrive. We are still doing it, even though it is Father’s day. Sorry that it fell that way this year. Our topic will be about our “Heavenly Father.”
2. ParenTeen is next Sunday also, 6-7pm in the SC Offices. ParenTeen is a meeting for the parents of our students, led by Tim Backs. Once a month when our students come together to worship God, parents can sit with each other, share in some of the common struggles of raising their teens, and cast vision and hope for healthy relationships with their teens.
3. Fireworks Tent Needs Volunteers – Talk to Lou Warner. Encouraging your student to sign up and volunteer at the Fireworks tent is a good way to introduce them to serving, and you can even serve together as a family. Put in enough hours and you can even earn a fireworkds discount. Talk to Lou: lwarner1@kc.rr.com
Pangea’s Media Survey has some released some pretty interesting stats. I don’t know if they’re that surprising really, but still interesting nonetheless.
Here are my favs:
When asked which parent they are most likely to talk to, 68 percent of tweens/teens said they were more likely to share with their mother than their father (17 percent were more likely to share with their father). So where are the dads in this equation? Only 17% of sons would rather relate to their fathers vs. their mothers. I was scared as crap to relate to my dad about “vulneralbe” things. Unless it was sports or work related, dad and I didn’t talk. Now we have a battered and bruised relatoinship. Probably going to be the same for a lot of future males like me.
45 percent of tweens/teens say relationships are the hardest thing to talk to their parents about. This pairs well with the stat that (56 percent) said their parents do not know that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And 54 percent wouldn’t take their parents’ advice on a relationship. In fact, 45 percent of tweens/teens say relationships are the hardest thing to talk to their parents about.
Again, I remember this too as I was going through my teens. I don’t know if it’s odd, or if it just plain sucks, that the area that our tweens and teens are most likely to be scarred and hurt (relationships/dating), is also the area that there is the biggest barrier between parents and children. What is it that keeps parents from being able to enter that sphere of life? What fuels teens from wanting to let parents in? How hard are parents trying to get in? And if parents are only checking in that area too make sure nothing serious is going on, does that count as investing?